It's human nature to want to impress people sometimes. I find it hard to believe that there is anybody anywhere who has never at some point tried to impress someone for any number of reasons. And some of those reasons seem legitimate. Yet we tend to conflate doing our best work for someone with impressing them. Yet these are two very different goals.
A goal is something which defines the way we think, act, and react in any given situation. It determines how we move forward. If our goals are misguided, all actions that spring from it will also be so. Setting a goal to impress somebody will in most cases lead to failure because everything becomes about them. Our energies are focused upon making our selves look good to only one individual. (Sometimes a group.) Which means we will try to alter our approach every few moments to match what we perceive they want. Our desire to be held in personal esteem by the other person dictates our choices. When that happens, we open ourselves up to feelings of inadequacy, doubt, and diminished confidence.
Instead of impressing people, our goal should be to offer our best at any given time. We need to present our best selves via behavior, ideas, attitudes, etc. We need to give our best audition to a director, present ourselves in the most effective manner at a job interview, put our best products on display when we meet potential clients. It only makes sense to do so.
When our goal is to produce our best work, (within whatever guidelines apply to the situation), we make it about us. Our mental energies are directed toward engaging our talents, and tapping our passion. Improving who and what we are. We become confident in our ability to bring something forth that deserves to have our names attached to it. Such creations have the best chance of attracting the right attention. And though we may be disappointed if we don't get the part or the job, we come away from the attempt knowing that in the very least we produced something worthy of our own admiration. We don't come away with even that much when we bend over backwards merely to impress.
Take pride in your work. Your observations. Your being. Let what someone else thinks of it take care of itself. You'll have nothing that either you, or other people can take pride in if your entire purpose is to impress, impress, impress.
When have you been tempted to impress someone, as opposed to just living your best, and allowing the consequences of same?
Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Working Hard or Hardly Working: Do We Care?
"So what do you do for a living?"
I hate this question. Not just when I am asked. I hate the deeply embedded need we have in this country to begin conversations in this manner. The reason I hate it is that the question is indicative of a certain hypocrisy.
Let's keep in mind the difference between working hard and making a living. Let's also remember its twin distinction: the difference between being lazy and not making a living.
There are plenty of people out there who work hard at something. And for whatever reason are unable to make a living directly through that hard work. Or they make less of a living than they need. Sometimes this is because their job doesn't pay enough. Sometimes it is because that despite of all of their hard work, they cannot get hired at all no matter what they do.
And at what do people work hard if they are not making a living? It depends of course. Some work hard at trying to find employment. Driving and walking around until they are exhausted trying to scrape something together. Others who are not making a living work hard each day at domestic chores. Cleaning, cooking. Sometimes child rearing. Some unemployed expel a great deal of energy volunteering. In many cases, volunteering to take on some rather labor intensive projects which in a just world, they would be paid to do.
Let's not forget those who create. Artists. Musicians. Writers. If they are serious about their craft, they are working hard at the act of creation each day, whether or not they have found a way to make a living off of it.
Then there are those that are "making a living" who wouldn't choose to break a sweat in fear of staining their shirt or hurting themselves. Some of the laziest people I have ever met are those lucky enough to find a job.
Let's look at two people.
The first guy makes no money and lives in the proverbial "mother's basement", but spends all morning mowing her lawn, tending her garden and cleaning her house before driving 30 minutes to the local shelter where he spends the next four hours in a hot soup kitchen serving meals to the hungry and homeless. (Those also not making a living, but not lucky enough to have family with whom to live.) In the evening he blogs of his experience at the soup kitchen as he does each night, meticulously editing his content before publishing. Before bed he spends an hour with his guitar, both to unwind, and to stay in practice for the band with whom he sometimes gets to perform for peanuts at local dives. These are his days.
The second guy loves to talk. He's got some funny jokes and stories, and doesn't mind sharing them with anyone. One such time of story telling was with an older gentleman at Starbucks. The subject? The internet. This lands him a job with the stranger's company as a community manager. A job which gives him a desk, an office, and a secretary. A job which is safe for him so long as he appears busy because the company is so far behind on social media practices they will believe whatever he says.
Once an hour or so he'll send an official company Tweet out to Twitter with some half-assed question he got from someone else. Between hours long sessions of World of Warcraft on company time he will put together a few emails and send them out, and cut and paste blog content from his own abandoned personal blog, and edit them just enough to put on the company blog. Anytime he hears of an after hours meeting that somebody needs to have with him, he finds a way to be "out on call" that day, and leaves the office an hour early. For this, he pulls down 60K a year.
Now answer this question honestly: On which of these people does society tend to place more value? The hardworking jobless man contributing to the world, or the clod with the office?
It's the clod, and we all know it.
In our society we pay a lot of lip service to the idea of rewarding hard work, and looking up to those who put in a day's worth of labor. We claim to abhor laziness and group think. Yet in many cases as a collective we don't actually seem to be admiring the level of labor and creativity a person displays. What we are in reality admiring is the amount of money they have found a way to be given, and what material possessions they can obtain with same.
My question is, if we value people who work hard and try their best to be creative and solve problems and move and influence for the better, what's it to us what they are paid, or even if they are paid? Why should we care if that guy lives in his mother's basement? Isn't that between him and his mother? We know the effort he puts into service to others and into creating things. Why is he less deserving of admiration, or friendship, or a woman's love?
Can't we all just respect hard work and concentrated effort when we see it? Whether that's in a corner office, a McDonald's kitchen, or a mother's basement. If hard work were the positive character attribute we claim it is in this country, far more people would earn respect and admiration, (and perhaps even a job) than currently do.
What is hard work to you? Do you value anyone who works hard at something positive, or do you value those who make a living only?
I hate this question. Not just when I am asked. I hate the deeply embedded need we have in this country to begin conversations in this manner. The reason I hate it is that the question is indicative of a certain hypocrisy.
Let's keep in mind the difference between working hard and making a living. Let's also remember its twin distinction: the difference between being lazy and not making a living.
There are plenty of people out there who work hard at something. And for whatever reason are unable to make a living directly through that hard work. Or they make less of a living than they need. Sometimes this is because their job doesn't pay enough. Sometimes it is because that despite of all of their hard work, they cannot get hired at all no matter what they do.
And at what do people work hard if they are not making a living? It depends of course. Some work hard at trying to find employment. Driving and walking around until they are exhausted trying to scrape something together. Others who are not making a living work hard each day at domestic chores. Cleaning, cooking. Sometimes child rearing. Some unemployed expel a great deal of energy volunteering. In many cases, volunteering to take on some rather labor intensive projects which in a just world, they would be paid to do.
Let's not forget those who create. Artists. Musicians. Writers. If they are serious about their craft, they are working hard at the act of creation each day, whether or not they have found a way to make a living off of it.
Then there are those that are "making a living" who wouldn't choose to break a sweat in fear of staining their shirt or hurting themselves. Some of the laziest people I have ever met are those lucky enough to find a job.
Let's look at two people.
The first guy makes no money and lives in the proverbial "mother's basement", but spends all morning mowing her lawn, tending her garden and cleaning her house before driving 30 minutes to the local shelter where he spends the next four hours in a hot soup kitchen serving meals to the hungry and homeless. (Those also not making a living, but not lucky enough to have family with whom to live.) In the evening he blogs of his experience at the soup kitchen as he does each night, meticulously editing his content before publishing. Before bed he spends an hour with his guitar, both to unwind, and to stay in practice for the band with whom he sometimes gets to perform for peanuts at local dives. These are his days.
The second guy loves to talk. He's got some funny jokes and stories, and doesn't mind sharing them with anyone. One such time of story telling was with an older gentleman at Starbucks. The subject? The internet. This lands him a job with the stranger's company as a community manager. A job which gives him a desk, an office, and a secretary. A job which is safe for him so long as he appears busy because the company is so far behind on social media practices they will believe whatever he says.
Once an hour or so he'll send an official company Tweet out to Twitter with some half-assed question he got from someone else. Between hours long sessions of World of Warcraft on company time he will put together a few emails and send them out, and cut and paste blog content from his own abandoned personal blog, and edit them just enough to put on the company blog. Anytime he hears of an after hours meeting that somebody needs to have with him, he finds a way to be "out on call" that day, and leaves the office an hour early. For this, he pulls down 60K a year.
Now answer this question honestly: On which of these people does society tend to place more value? The hardworking jobless man contributing to the world, or the clod with the office?
It's the clod, and we all know it.
In our society we pay a lot of lip service to the idea of rewarding hard work, and looking up to those who put in a day's worth of labor. We claim to abhor laziness and group think. Yet in many cases as a collective we don't actually seem to be admiring the level of labor and creativity a person displays. What we are in reality admiring is the amount of money they have found a way to be given, and what material possessions they can obtain with same.
My question is, if we value people who work hard and try their best to be creative and solve problems and move and influence for the better, what's it to us what they are paid, or even if they are paid? Why should we care if that guy lives in his mother's basement? Isn't that between him and his mother? We know the effort he puts into service to others and into creating things. Why is he less deserving of admiration, or friendship, or a woman's love?
Can't we all just respect hard work and concentrated effort when we see it? Whether that's in a corner office, a McDonald's kitchen, or a mother's basement. If hard work were the positive character attribute we claim it is in this country, far more people would earn respect and admiration, (and perhaps even a job) than currently do.
What is hard work to you? Do you value anyone who works hard at something positive, or do you value those who make a living only?
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
My (Non) Plan for 2011
All right. In all accuracy what I am about to describe is in fact a plan. So much for my cutesy, eye catching title. But it could be considered a non-plan in more ways than one.
2010 was about a plan. I joined Twitter, and launched this blog in an effort to not only describe the nature of a square peg trying to live in the round holes of a materialistic, productivity-obsessed society, but also to join together with others who felt the same way. I wanted to connect with other people who wanted to get ahead, but found themselves to be Too XYZ. Though that has occurred to a small degree, and I have in fact connected with several great people as a result of my social media endeavors, I have not, (as I have written about before) formed a coalition of such souls. 2010 brought about many things for me, among them allies of varying stripes. For which I am grateful. But the establishment of a network of almost total like minds did not happen as I had planned or hoped.
I had decent exposure, through Twitter, Brazen Careerist, and other such places. I could always have more, as I have seen blogs younger than mine get lucky enough to take off like wildfire. But overall I have a network of well wishers. Yet what 2010 taught me was that I couldn't take people who are Too XYZ, and network with them in the manner that more conventional people do so. In other words, I had thought I could achieve my unique definition of success, using my own unique methods, by simply applying the social media rules and art form to people of like-mind. I have come to theorize, however that being an unconventional person, with unconventional methods and yes, unconventional weaknesses means that attaining even my own unconventional idea of success is nearly impossible when applying conventional tactics.
I know what many are thinking. There are all kind of gurus, super-bloggers, location independent freelance billionaires with passive incomes in the tens of thousands a month who got there by being exactly that; unconventional. Maybe. But as I have spent the last year looking into social media, and its alleged heroes, I have realized that for most of those types there is actually a common, and dare I say conventional thread. That common thread is their manner of marketing.
Leaving the rat race. Traveling the world. Living a dream. Saying "up yours" to the status quo. Creative visualization. LinkedIn. Blogs. Subscribing. Commenting. Linking. Tweeting. Re-Tweeting. TEDs. Podcasts. Conventions. Give-Aways. E-books. Asking "How can I help you today?" On and on and on. After awhile is all starts to sound the same to me. And maybe it is all the same, since in the end it all comes down to one (and I mean one) thing. Constantly selling.
Now, some people will flat out tell you that is it. Always be selling. Yourself and what you do. Sell, sell, sell. How? (See the above paragraph.) They make no bones about it. That's fine, for them. I actually respect them a bit more for just coming out and saying it.
But then there are those who disguise their riches, their new "free" lifestyle, their fame, their influence, in terms of how much they loved life. How much they faced fear. Made themselves uncomfortable. Went out there and "just did it!" And they encourage us all to do the same thing, because there is no such thing as luck, and anybody anywhere can do what they did.
To me that is buying the house based on how lovely the weather was that day. What all of these gurus, (some of them very well intentioned I will admit) are actual selling is....salesmanship itself. They only think it is their desire, their vision of their future, and their passion that they are selling. But really, look carefully at almost all of their stories, and you will find, in the end, that they learned how to sell, or hired, or got mentored by, or subscribed to the blog of, or was introduced by an acquaintance to someone who taught them how to sell the shit out of themselves and what they "offer" the world. In some cases it is clear that selling was far more responsible for their success than quality of their product...
Then others see the lives these people live, and how passionate, and eager to help, and lovely they are, and we start to think that it is those things that got them where they are. Those things may have kept them where they are. But in the end, selling got them there.
And you know what? I hate selling shit. I tried it as a career and it sucked every bit as much as I thought it would. I have tried to sell myself at networking events and you know what? It sucked just as much as I predicted it would. Good, talented people get ahead by selling. As do really lousy bastards. But to quote a line from one of my favorite films of all time, Primary Colors:
"I don't care. I'm not comparing the players. I don't like the game."
And I don't. This game of selling is for the birds. Actually I have a caveat; this game of selling as currently defined by most people is for the birds. This version of marketing yourself and your wares that people insist you need to master in order to get anywhere as a freelancer. The version of marketing yourself and your wares that even the most open minded, generous, and status quo hating individuals in social media will beat you over the head with, and insist is necessary, only to turn on you when you determine you cannot do it. A version of marketing yourself and your wares that has at some point transformed into a nebulous altar at which 90% of the ironically self proclaimed non-conformists gather and before which they all genuflect whilst immersed in the ecstasy of the game changing wonders of Social-Media marketing and networking.
Yeah. For the birds.
It's this manner in which we sell things, and ourselves, from which I am clearly unable to launch my life and my work. And reading the top 25 books on current marketing trends, subscribing to Seth Godin and 100 other blogs, stopping in on every web chat by every guru on this side of the equator (all of which have been emphatically suggested to me) is not going to change any of that. When it comes to traditional marketing (and social media does have its own traditions) I'm not worth a damn. Period.
And so 2011 is going to be about going at it my own way. And by my own way, I actually mean my own way. Not living life in my own way only to try to market it in a conventional way, but to proceed with my daily life, communications, research, passions, and yes, even marketing in my own way. If the gurus cannot cure themselves of their traditional social media marketing fetishes and help all of us, then I will do it myself.
And yes, I will be doing it. I never said that marketing and getting the word out in some form are wrong for me. I see their value. What I am saying is that it has be done at my own pace, using my own methods, and paying little attention to how it was done by "Cindy Happypants: Blogger Extraordinaire", who changed the world while writing about selling donuts and living a dream. (Though I would date such a woman if she existed...)
In 2011, it may come down to me living with my family again for a while. If so, I'll do it. It may mean less time networking, and more time alone, perfecting me. Fine. It will mean most of my day will be spent writing. Not selling my writing, or pitching my writing, or talking about writing. But the actual process of writing. Like doors closed, curtain drawn, I do this because this is all I know how to do, writing.
My novel at first, and then blogging, and then whatever time is left can be spent seeing if there are any magazines out there that want my stuff. And if I find them the days will be spent reading them, not making calls the schmooze the editor. And when I finally do decide I may have a piece worth pitching, I will pitch it. This may happen 10 times next year. Maybe more, or maybe even less. I won't be forcing it.
It will mean that I will be reading scripts, looking for acting projects and memorizing speeches. It will not mean saving up and moving to New York to make it on Broadway, because I don't want to be on Broadway. I want to be a better actor, and that means acting, and studying same. Not paying someone to tell me how to do it, but doing it my own way. It's not a hobby. It's what I do.
I won't be trying to learn to cook more things very often. I won't be attempting to tackle home economics or Apartment Management 101. I'll be going to bed when I am tired, and getting up when I am no longer so. I'll be writing in the passive voice, and not all of my protagonists will be different by the end of my book. I'll pass up the chance to attend the local business card exchange and instead opt for an audition at a local community play house. And if I get in to the play, I'll blog about it on my acting blog that nobody reads, which brings in no money, and for which I have done all the marketing I know how to do, and for which I still have almost no readers.
I'll retweet things I like, and not because I want to get on the good side of someone else who isn't following me anyway. I will leave comments on friends' blogs just because they are friends and deserve to have their stuff read, whether they have "social proof" or not. I won't bother commenting on sites who require me to prove my expertise in something before taking me seriously and I will not prove my expertise through anything but the work that I do. Content shall be king in 2011. Judge my abilities by that, and not be a work history, or to hell with you.
And it won't matter what I know or who I know because I will be too busy being better than I was in 2010. And when it comes time to start knowing more people, I only want to know people who know how to behave in public, treat everyone with respect, and have the decency to return a message. Because nobody out there is important enough for me to sit around and wait weeks just for the chance of kissing their ass. I don't care how many pings their blog gets, whatever the hell they are.
And if I starve? Folks, half the time I am close to starving anyway. At least I'll starve while doing my damnedest to be productive in my own way, and not starve while trying to tweak a resume so that it can be summarily ignored by the 30 trillionth hiring manager who just doesn't have the time to understand that my "employment gaps" are due to misfortune and things beyond my control, and not because I'm not worth anything. If someone has no time to read what I write as a writer, and instead wants a flashy resume and some name dropping, they don't want me. Nor do I want them.
And just maybe, in so doing, I will get to the point where I do what I want, just like Cindy Happypants: Blogger Extraordinaire. The only difference being I'll get to be whatever I want first, as opposed to playing a half-assed game in order to have the privilege of doing so. Then I will have a product that will sell itself. (With a little bit of luck, which unlike most, I am not afraid to admit is a big part of our lives.)
And if anyone wants to join me...well...I'm still not Too XYZ for a little bit of company, and a little bit of help. And I am willing to give any help I can to anyone who wants it. But I'm not a guru, thank god.
Happy New Year.
2010 was about a plan. I joined Twitter, and launched this blog in an effort to not only describe the nature of a square peg trying to live in the round holes of a materialistic, productivity-obsessed society, but also to join together with others who felt the same way. I wanted to connect with other people who wanted to get ahead, but found themselves to be Too XYZ. Though that has occurred to a small degree, and I have in fact connected with several great people as a result of my social media endeavors, I have not, (as I have written about before) formed a coalition of such souls. 2010 brought about many things for me, among them allies of varying stripes. For which I am grateful. But the establishment of a network of almost total like minds did not happen as I had planned or hoped.
I had decent exposure, through Twitter, Brazen Careerist, and other such places. I could always have more, as I have seen blogs younger than mine get lucky enough to take off like wildfire. But overall I have a network of well wishers. Yet what 2010 taught me was that I couldn't take people who are Too XYZ, and network with them in the manner that more conventional people do so. In other words, I had thought I could achieve my unique definition of success, using my own unique methods, by simply applying the social media rules and art form to people of like-mind. I have come to theorize, however that being an unconventional person, with unconventional methods and yes, unconventional weaknesses means that attaining even my own unconventional idea of success is nearly impossible when applying conventional tactics.
I know what many are thinking. There are all kind of gurus, super-bloggers, location independent freelance billionaires with passive incomes in the tens of thousands a month who got there by being exactly that; unconventional. Maybe. But as I have spent the last year looking into social media, and its alleged heroes, I have realized that for most of those types there is actually a common, and dare I say conventional thread. That common thread is their manner of marketing.
Leaving the rat race. Traveling the world. Living a dream. Saying "up yours" to the status quo. Creative visualization. LinkedIn. Blogs. Subscribing. Commenting. Linking. Tweeting. Re-Tweeting. TEDs. Podcasts. Conventions. Give-Aways. E-books. Asking "How can I help you today?" On and on and on. After awhile is all starts to sound the same to me. And maybe it is all the same, since in the end it all comes down to one (and I mean one) thing. Constantly selling.
Now, some people will flat out tell you that is it. Always be selling. Yourself and what you do. Sell, sell, sell. How? (See the above paragraph.) They make no bones about it. That's fine, for them. I actually respect them a bit more for just coming out and saying it.
But then there are those who disguise their riches, their new "free" lifestyle, their fame, their influence, in terms of how much they loved life. How much they faced fear. Made themselves uncomfortable. Went out there and "just did it!" And they encourage us all to do the same thing, because there is no such thing as luck, and anybody anywhere can do what they did.
To me that is buying the house based on how lovely the weather was that day. What all of these gurus, (some of them very well intentioned I will admit) are actual selling is....salesmanship itself. They only think it is their desire, their vision of their future, and their passion that they are selling. But really, look carefully at almost all of their stories, and you will find, in the end, that they learned how to sell, or hired, or got mentored by, or subscribed to the blog of, or was introduced by an acquaintance to someone who taught them how to sell the shit out of themselves and what they "offer" the world. In some cases it is clear that selling was far more responsible for their success than quality of their product...
Then others see the lives these people live, and how passionate, and eager to help, and lovely they are, and we start to think that it is those things that got them where they are. Those things may have kept them where they are. But in the end, selling got them there.
And you know what? I hate selling shit. I tried it as a career and it sucked every bit as much as I thought it would. I have tried to sell myself at networking events and you know what? It sucked just as much as I predicted it would. Good, talented people get ahead by selling. As do really lousy bastards. But to quote a line from one of my favorite films of all time, Primary Colors:
"I don't care. I'm not comparing the players. I don't like the game."
And I don't. This game of selling is for the birds. Actually I have a caveat; this game of selling as currently defined by most people is for the birds. This version of marketing yourself and your wares that people insist you need to master in order to get anywhere as a freelancer. The version of marketing yourself and your wares that even the most open minded, generous, and status quo hating individuals in social media will beat you over the head with, and insist is necessary, only to turn on you when you determine you cannot do it. A version of marketing yourself and your wares that has at some point transformed into a nebulous altar at which 90% of the ironically self proclaimed non-conformists gather and before which they all genuflect whilst immersed in the ecstasy of the game changing wonders of Social-Media marketing and networking.
Yeah. For the birds.
It's this manner in which we sell things, and ourselves, from which I am clearly unable to launch my life and my work. And reading the top 25 books on current marketing trends, subscribing to Seth Godin and 100 other blogs, stopping in on every web chat by every guru on this side of the equator (all of which have been emphatically suggested to me) is not going to change any of that. When it comes to traditional marketing (and social media does have its own traditions) I'm not worth a damn. Period.
And so 2011 is going to be about going at it my own way. And by my own way, I actually mean my own way. Not living life in my own way only to try to market it in a conventional way, but to proceed with my daily life, communications, research, passions, and yes, even marketing in my own way. If the gurus cannot cure themselves of their traditional social media marketing fetishes and help all of us, then I will do it myself.
And yes, I will be doing it. I never said that marketing and getting the word out in some form are wrong for me. I see their value. What I am saying is that it has be done at my own pace, using my own methods, and paying little attention to how it was done by "Cindy Happypants: Blogger Extraordinaire", who changed the world while writing about selling donuts and living a dream. (Though I would date such a woman if she existed...)
In 2011, it may come down to me living with my family again for a while. If so, I'll do it. It may mean less time networking, and more time alone, perfecting me. Fine. It will mean most of my day will be spent writing. Not selling my writing, or pitching my writing, or talking about writing. But the actual process of writing. Like doors closed, curtain drawn, I do this because this is all I know how to do, writing.
My novel at first, and then blogging, and then whatever time is left can be spent seeing if there are any magazines out there that want my stuff. And if I find them the days will be spent reading them, not making calls the schmooze the editor. And when I finally do decide I may have a piece worth pitching, I will pitch it. This may happen 10 times next year. Maybe more, or maybe even less. I won't be forcing it.
It will mean that I will be reading scripts, looking for acting projects and memorizing speeches. It will not mean saving up and moving to New York to make it on Broadway, because I don't want to be on Broadway. I want to be a better actor, and that means acting, and studying same. Not paying someone to tell me how to do it, but doing it my own way. It's not a hobby. It's what I do.
I won't be trying to learn to cook more things very often. I won't be attempting to tackle home economics or Apartment Management 101. I'll be going to bed when I am tired, and getting up when I am no longer so. I'll be writing in the passive voice, and not all of my protagonists will be different by the end of my book. I'll pass up the chance to attend the local business card exchange and instead opt for an audition at a local community play house. And if I get in to the play, I'll blog about it on my acting blog that nobody reads, which brings in no money, and for which I have done all the marketing I know how to do, and for which I still have almost no readers.
I'll retweet things I like, and not because I want to get on the good side of someone else who isn't following me anyway. I will leave comments on friends' blogs just because they are friends and deserve to have their stuff read, whether they have "social proof" or not. I won't bother commenting on sites who require me to prove my expertise in something before taking me seriously and I will not prove my expertise through anything but the work that I do. Content shall be king in 2011. Judge my abilities by that, and not be a work history, or to hell with you.
And it won't matter what I know or who I know because I will be too busy being better than I was in 2010. And when it comes time to start knowing more people, I only want to know people who know how to behave in public, treat everyone with respect, and have the decency to return a message. Because nobody out there is important enough for me to sit around and wait weeks just for the chance of kissing their ass. I don't care how many pings their blog gets, whatever the hell they are.
And if I starve? Folks, half the time I am close to starving anyway. At least I'll starve while doing my damnedest to be productive in my own way, and not starve while trying to tweak a resume so that it can be summarily ignored by the 30 trillionth hiring manager who just doesn't have the time to understand that my "employment gaps" are due to misfortune and things beyond my control, and not because I'm not worth anything. If someone has no time to read what I write as a writer, and instead wants a flashy resume and some name dropping, they don't want me. Nor do I want them.
And just maybe, in so doing, I will get to the point where I do what I want, just like Cindy Happypants: Blogger Extraordinaire. The only difference being I'll get to be whatever I want first, as opposed to playing a half-assed game in order to have the privilege of doing so. Then I will have a product that will sell itself. (With a little bit of luck, which unlike most, I am not afraid to admit is a big part of our lives.)
And if anyone wants to join me...well...I'm still not Too XYZ for a little bit of company, and a little bit of help. And I am willing to give any help I can to anyone who wants it. But I'm not a guru, thank god.
Happy New Year.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Mix Tapes, Memories, and Making It Happen
Last week I was conducting one of my periodic cleaning and purging sessions. That's where I go through all of my stuff, and get rid of things that have just been laying around a for a while. During this archeological expedition, I found one of my old mix tapes. Yes an actual cassette.
I have held on to some things for sentimental reasons over the years, but this cassette wasn't one of them. It's not the oldest mix tape in my life or anything. It just happened to be in with a box of other electronic stuff that I have had with me through the years. I probably dumped it in there during a move or something, and never took it out.
This tape is from around the time of my first summer job. Right after I graduated from high school. Because the car I drove didn't play CDs, I had recorded songs from several of my CDs onto the cassette, so I could listen to my own music as I drove to work. (Or other places of the era.)
I popped the cassette into my current player in my bedroom and listened to it for a while. Like I said, I own ALL of the same songs on CD. But there was something about listening to the slightly scratchy cassette recordings, with all of their audio idiosyncrasies. It just...sounds different.
But this isn't a post about sound quality in different media. The only pertinent information here is that although I was listening to the same songs I can listen to on CD, there is enough of a difference on the cassette recordings that it awakened certain types of memories that just listening to the song on the CD or on the radio don't awaken as much. In this case, the atmosphere around going to my first summer job, since that is when I would most often pop in this mix tape.
Frankly, I hated that job. Hot, dirty work. Terrible, inept co-workers. You've been there, I'm certain. Yet having that job did give me a certain feeling of freedom. I was to start college soon, and several different aspects of my life were opening up for the first time. And the job at least took place in a beautiful wooded area. There were moments when I had that job that I felt like I was really on my way to somewhere. (Usually on the drives to and from, but occasionally while I was actually on the job.)
It's that feeling of potential, of slight adventure, of a different kind of freedom and of the safe unknown that listening to that cassette brought to the surface again the other night in a way that the CDs themselves probably could not.
The reason, in my opinion, that this happened, is not the nature of the music, or even the nature of the cassette itself. But I listened to that particular tape so often during a time in my life when I opened myself up to that sense of promise and excitement that my subconscious associated that feeling with listening to that tape. So when, all these years later I popped it in again, it was like some of that feeling was brought to the surface.
I have enjoyed wonder and excitement since that first job. Maybe not as much as some, but it has happened. But the point is, don't reserve those feelings for the milestone times in your life.(Starting college. Starting a new job. The first days of a new romance.) Make sure you open yourself up to such feelings of potential all the time, and remain in awe of everything, where ever you find yourself. A very tall order, I readily admit. But if you can do it, you will always be able to look to that spirit of adventure within you when you need a push or a pick me up. You won't need a mix tape, or a movie, or a perfume to remind you of "what I was like back then. I was so young and stupid."
You may have been young, but you weren't stupid if your biggest crime was thinking anything was possible. That life lie ahead of you. It still does. It takes a hell of a lot of work, and maybe you didn't realize that in the past. But you do now. So go; roll up your sleeves and get ready to sweat, get in your car, blast your old mix tape, and take off down the road of your life.
"Either everything is a miracle, or nothing is." ---Albert Einstein
I have held on to some things for sentimental reasons over the years, but this cassette wasn't one of them. It's not the oldest mix tape in my life or anything. It just happened to be in with a box of other electronic stuff that I have had with me through the years. I probably dumped it in there during a move or something, and never took it out.
This tape is from around the time of my first summer job. Right after I graduated from high school. Because the car I drove didn't play CDs, I had recorded songs from several of my CDs onto the cassette, so I could listen to my own music as I drove to work. (Or other places of the era.)
I popped the cassette into my current player in my bedroom and listened to it for a while. Like I said, I own ALL of the same songs on CD. But there was something about listening to the slightly scratchy cassette recordings, with all of their audio idiosyncrasies. It just...sounds different.
But this isn't a post about sound quality in different media. The only pertinent information here is that although I was listening to the same songs I can listen to on CD, there is enough of a difference on the cassette recordings that it awakened certain types of memories that just listening to the song on the CD or on the radio don't awaken as much. In this case, the atmosphere around going to my first summer job, since that is when I would most often pop in this mix tape.
Frankly, I hated that job. Hot, dirty work. Terrible, inept co-workers. You've been there, I'm certain. Yet having that job did give me a certain feeling of freedom. I was to start college soon, and several different aspects of my life were opening up for the first time. And the job at least took place in a beautiful wooded area. There were moments when I had that job that I felt like I was really on my way to somewhere. (Usually on the drives to and from, but occasionally while I was actually on the job.)
It's that feeling of potential, of slight adventure, of a different kind of freedom and of the safe unknown that listening to that cassette brought to the surface again the other night in a way that the CDs themselves probably could not.
The reason, in my opinion, that this happened, is not the nature of the music, or even the nature of the cassette itself. But I listened to that particular tape so often during a time in my life when I opened myself up to that sense of promise and excitement that my subconscious associated that feeling with listening to that tape. So when, all these years later I popped it in again, it was like some of that feeling was brought to the surface.
I have enjoyed wonder and excitement since that first job. Maybe not as much as some, but it has happened. But the point is, don't reserve those feelings for the milestone times in your life.(Starting college. Starting a new job. The first days of a new romance.) Make sure you open yourself up to such feelings of potential all the time, and remain in awe of everything, where ever you find yourself. A very tall order, I readily admit. But if you can do it, you will always be able to look to that spirit of adventure within you when you need a push or a pick me up. You won't need a mix tape, or a movie, or a perfume to remind you of "what I was like back then. I was so young and stupid."
You may have been young, but you weren't stupid if your biggest crime was thinking anything was possible. That life lie ahead of you. It still does. It takes a hell of a lot of work, and maybe you didn't realize that in the past. But you do now. So go; roll up your sleeves and get ready to sweat, get in your car, blast your old mix tape, and take off down the road of your life.
"Either everything is a miracle, or nothing is." ---Albert Einstein
Monday, June 21, 2010
College? Epic Fail.
I have been exchanging messages recently on Brazen Careerist with Demetra Allen. (Find her website here.) We were both part of a thread about how going to college has helped everyone leverage their talents, and get to where they are today.
When I answered that it had not in any way helped me at all, she became very curious, because she had not encountered many people who responded in such a manner about their college education. She asked me if I might be willing to expound upon the issue. Not being able to do so within the character limits of a Brazen Careerist post, I opted to post a blog entry about it.
Yet where to start? When something fails to live up to so many expectations, and is so far off of the success curve of so many other people, it can become almost impossible to pinpoint all of the exact reasons. But I will make an effort to illustrate some of them through the use of broad categories. This isn't a thesis or a study, so the categories are informal. This is just me sharing some observations and thoughts with you, as always.
To begin with, let's talk about the degree itself.
The bachelor's degree in this country as a whole has been quite devalued over the last 30 years. I knew going into college I would never be able to walk up to my dream job, wave a diploma at them, get hired, and become rich and powerful. I was wise enough to avoid that delusion.
Yet I wasn't wise enough to realize that all of the time, expense, and work to get a degree might not ever open any doors. And it certainly did not for me. I thought that it would at least get my foot in the door of a mail room somewhere. Maybe a small cubicle on the first floor of someplace. Or at least get me some interviews.
I was given no full time job in 5 years of looking, and was granted only three interviews.
Having gone to a career counselor here and there, I was advised more than once to "hide the college experience." That when employers in my area see it they assume I am going to want more money than they can pay, and assume that my liberal arts background would make me restless and unwilling to sit down and do "real work".
As the years passed, the same advice was given because, "employers are going to wonder why someone with a degree has never been able to get a full time job."
So at first college was a drawback because I looked too smart. Later it was a drawback because I looked not smart enough. Same diploma.
Then of course many jobs advertise a need for people with a diploma. A diploma I did not have. A job I know I was perfectly capable of doing, but for which I was not qualified because I majored in the wrong thing. College graduation is not a reward in and of itself anymore.
So one reason college was a waste of time and money was the empty degree.
Another failure was the weak network.
I made friends in college. You almost have to. But that is just what they are. Friends. I don't want to get into a discussion of shallow friends and personal betrayals, but let's just say my friend pool from college was thinner than most. Even when friends bothered at all to keep in contact with me after college, they had no connections to any industry for which I would be qualified. Or they were going through similar post-collegiate employment difficulties. Or they all lived so far away that any connection they would have would prove to be of little use to me. Even if someone knows a guy who knows a guy in Oregon, what good would that do me in Maryland? Especially given that I had never made enough money to even think about moving to another state?
The career center at my college was not much more helpful. I went there once or twice before realizing they were not telling me anything I didn't already know. They would ask to see my resume, and advise ways to punch it up. They would offer, (though I declined) to give me a mock job interview and critique it. They would suggest things like, "Hmm, maybe if you look in the phone book under your interests and start making cold calls..."
Thanks! As obvious a tactic as that was, it was never going to happen. In other words, they had no personal connections to share with me. Half the point of a career center is to connect you with people that work with the college, or alumni of the same. But the only time the career center really had any thing to offer in that department was if you were looking for the corporate life. The business majors, or the PR people. Those looking to get into computer tech and that sort of thing. Want to get involved in community non-profits?
"Well, we don't really have anything like that at this time..."
Then there were the wonderful, life changing internships everybody always talks about. Lord how people love their internships. How they put them on the right path, and all that song and dance.
Not so much with mine.
It was a requirement for all political science students to have an internship. I figured I would go to my adviser, see the list of places with whom the college had relationships that led to previous internships before, and pick one that fit my style.
They basically had none. No relationships with businesses in town. My professor didn't know anybody. There was literally no sense of the college having established ANY community ties for internships. Nobody my professor could introduce me to. It really felt as though the department had never helped establish an internship before. It was as though students had always been 100% on their own in finding a connection and building an internship. I didn't know how to do that. I came to college because I didn't know how to do everything, after all.
It took over a year. A YEAR of looking for internships, with several falling through in my own home town during the summer. ("We really don't have anything an intern could learn here. We're such a small town.") Finally, I went with one of the few connections the college did have, which opened up locally near campus. An internship with the local Congressman's office.
This sounded exciting. Meet a Congressman maybe. Help people. Maybe get to go to some speeches.
The internship consisted of my sitting at a desk and cutting out newspaper articles that contained certain keywords. I would then fax them to another office where they would do all the interesting stuff with them. I would just cut and fax.
Halfway through the internship, the woman that ran the office started leaving early, letting me lock the place up. Most of the time I interned, I sat alone in an office, cutting newspaper. Never even met the Congressman.
Believe it or not, this didn't open any doors for me either. I didn't even bother leaving it on my resume for any more than two years after I graduated. What would be the point? Do you know how embarrassing it is to try to spin that into something worthwhile to a potential employer? I wasn't even buying it myself.
Alumni Association? There is one for my alma mater. But like the career center it caters to certain types of students. And they, like anybody else, want a proven track record and long resume before they will even touch you. It helps if you already know somebody important that you can leverage within the Alumni community, too. In other words, useless for someone like me.
Plus, as I mentioned in a previous post, no professor took any active interest in me. So I lacked the advantage of having a professor for a friend.
So college didn't exactly grow my network.
College is also not personal enough.
There are a lot of colleges out there, and I can't of course speak for every one of them. But based on what I have read, and what I have experienced myself, not enough of them are tailored to the specific needs of individual students. Yes, I know that is a favorite bit of copy included in virtually all advertisements put out by all colleges ("tailored to the individual student's needs") but in practice, nothing is tailored. Colleges of any size tend to subscribe to cookie cutter mentalities. They have declared, within their insulated sphere what an education is, and those who wish to stay on campus must conform to same. My college certainly did, and it was a disservice to me. I graduated, and did so with good grades, but only because it was the only game in town. That was the system. I bucked it a few times, and predictably only managed to piss off well ensconced and out of touch professors in the process. That "outside the box" thinking they were famous for was never to be applied to the college itself.
A truly personalized experience would allow any given student to form their own approach to what they want to do with their lives, and remain flexible as those goals change. Not free reign to be willy-nilly, but the freedom of a self exploratory education. With faculty that is focused on helping students find who and what they are, not digest the next exam's answers, promptly to be forgotten during spring break.
My college didn't make things personal in this manner, and I have realized, in the years since, that despite my dedication to my education, I didn't belong, and was not served by the standard educational model I just described.
That lack of a personal approach sort of dovetails into the final category. College failed to teach me how it really works.
Again, I wasn't naive, but I was caught off guard by how different jobs, job hunting, and leveraging my degree, (not to mention student loans and debt) worked after college, as opposed to how they appeared to work while there. Most colleges, not just mine, offer no training for what to do after college. There are no mandatory classes about networking, or job hunting, or debt control, or how to handle your loans. Being a business themselves, they avoid telling you how it really works, and instead let credit card companies harass you outside of the lunch line. (I didn't get one!) They have career centers that tell you what you already know, but nothing you WILL need to know. They laud heaps of praise on the importance of getting an education, and the prestige of getting it with them, but don't explain that such an advantage truly died off in the 1960's.
In other words, they are not preparing you for life. They are isolating you from it for four years. And while I knew that for the loftiest, prettiest claims this was true, I didn't realize it was true even for the most modest, every day, run of the mill claims, such as, "this will be useful to you when you get out there." It wasn't.
I could go on, but I really think the point is made. And I think that any other reasons I could think of pertaining to college's failure would basically fall within the four meta categories I laid out here; the weakness of a degree, a failure to make it personal, the lack of a built in network, and the failure to prepare students for any real life experiences.
Many people will suggest that really all it takes is the right attitude, and hard work to succeed, and that college is what you make of it. That may be true for some people at some colleges. And while I confess I may not have had the highest fire under my ass all the time in college, I will not succumb to the notion that the reason it did nothing for me was because I didn't want it enough. The fact of the matter is that college, as advertised and explained in this country today, is supposedly the place to go to become prepared to go out and do those things. It is the place where that fire is supposed to be set, not the place where you have to already be on fire from the get go in order to succeed on campus.
College isn't what it used to be. People like me need a place where we can be educated in ways that both suit us, and prepare us for what's ahead. We don't care about school spirit, the proximity to historical landmarks, or the famous people that went to this school before us. We care about learning. Learning in a way that will make it worth the time, money and energy in the end. Getting an education that will actually guide us towards success. Not education for the sake of having gone to college.
I don't know if any college really acts like that anymore, but that is what I needed, and did not get. And if nobody gets that from college anymore, the perception we have in this country of what college is should at least adapt to it's reality, so those who can be helped by it can go, and those who are Too XYZ can go elsewhere.
When I answered that it had not in any way helped me at all, she became very curious, because she had not encountered many people who responded in such a manner about their college education. She asked me if I might be willing to expound upon the issue. Not being able to do so within the character limits of a Brazen Careerist post, I opted to post a blog entry about it.
Yet where to start? When something fails to live up to so many expectations, and is so far off of the success curve of so many other people, it can become almost impossible to pinpoint all of the exact reasons. But I will make an effort to illustrate some of them through the use of broad categories. This isn't a thesis or a study, so the categories are informal. This is just me sharing some observations and thoughts with you, as always.
To begin with, let's talk about the degree itself.
The bachelor's degree in this country as a whole has been quite devalued over the last 30 years. I knew going into college I would never be able to walk up to my dream job, wave a diploma at them, get hired, and become rich and powerful. I was wise enough to avoid that delusion.
Yet I wasn't wise enough to realize that all of the time, expense, and work to get a degree might not ever open any doors. And it certainly did not for me. I thought that it would at least get my foot in the door of a mail room somewhere. Maybe a small cubicle on the first floor of someplace. Or at least get me some interviews.
I was given no full time job in 5 years of looking, and was granted only three interviews.
Having gone to a career counselor here and there, I was advised more than once to "hide the college experience." That when employers in my area see it they assume I am going to want more money than they can pay, and assume that my liberal arts background would make me restless and unwilling to sit down and do "real work".
As the years passed, the same advice was given because, "employers are going to wonder why someone with a degree has never been able to get a full time job."
So at first college was a drawback because I looked too smart. Later it was a drawback because I looked not smart enough. Same diploma.
Then of course many jobs advertise a need for people with a diploma. A diploma I did not have. A job I know I was perfectly capable of doing, but for which I was not qualified because I majored in the wrong thing. College graduation is not a reward in and of itself anymore.
So one reason college was a waste of time and money was the empty degree.
Another failure was the weak network.
I made friends in college. You almost have to. But that is just what they are. Friends. I don't want to get into a discussion of shallow friends and personal betrayals, but let's just say my friend pool from college was thinner than most. Even when friends bothered at all to keep in contact with me after college, they had no connections to any industry for which I would be qualified. Or they were going through similar post-collegiate employment difficulties. Or they all lived so far away that any connection they would have would prove to be of little use to me. Even if someone knows a guy who knows a guy in Oregon, what good would that do me in Maryland? Especially given that I had never made enough money to even think about moving to another state?
The career center at my college was not much more helpful. I went there once or twice before realizing they were not telling me anything I didn't already know. They would ask to see my resume, and advise ways to punch it up. They would offer, (though I declined) to give me a mock job interview and critique it. They would suggest things like, "Hmm, maybe if you look in the phone book under your interests and start making cold calls..."
Thanks! As obvious a tactic as that was, it was never going to happen. In other words, they had no personal connections to share with me. Half the point of a career center is to connect you with people that work with the college, or alumni of the same. But the only time the career center really had any thing to offer in that department was if you were looking for the corporate life. The business majors, or the PR people. Those looking to get into computer tech and that sort of thing. Want to get involved in community non-profits?
"Well, we don't really have anything like that at this time..."
Then there were the wonderful, life changing internships everybody always talks about. Lord how people love their internships. How they put them on the right path, and all that song and dance.
Not so much with mine.
It was a requirement for all political science students to have an internship. I figured I would go to my adviser, see the list of places with whom the college had relationships that led to previous internships before, and pick one that fit my style.
They basically had none. No relationships with businesses in town. My professor didn't know anybody. There was literally no sense of the college having established ANY community ties for internships. Nobody my professor could introduce me to. It really felt as though the department had never helped establish an internship before. It was as though students had always been 100% on their own in finding a connection and building an internship. I didn't know how to do that. I came to college because I didn't know how to do everything, after all.
It took over a year. A YEAR of looking for internships, with several falling through in my own home town during the summer. ("We really don't have anything an intern could learn here. We're such a small town.") Finally, I went with one of the few connections the college did have, which opened up locally near campus. An internship with the local Congressman's office.
This sounded exciting. Meet a Congressman maybe. Help people. Maybe get to go to some speeches.
The internship consisted of my sitting at a desk and cutting out newspaper articles that contained certain keywords. I would then fax them to another office where they would do all the interesting stuff with them. I would just cut and fax.
Halfway through the internship, the woman that ran the office started leaving early, letting me lock the place up. Most of the time I interned, I sat alone in an office, cutting newspaper. Never even met the Congressman.
Believe it or not, this didn't open any doors for me either. I didn't even bother leaving it on my resume for any more than two years after I graduated. What would be the point? Do you know how embarrassing it is to try to spin that into something worthwhile to a potential employer? I wasn't even buying it myself.
Alumni Association? There is one for my alma mater. But like the career center it caters to certain types of students. And they, like anybody else, want a proven track record and long resume before they will even touch you. It helps if you already know somebody important that you can leverage within the Alumni community, too. In other words, useless for someone like me.
Plus, as I mentioned in a previous post, no professor took any active interest in me. So I lacked the advantage of having a professor for a friend.
So college didn't exactly grow my network.
College is also not personal enough.
There are a lot of colleges out there, and I can't of course speak for every one of them. But based on what I have read, and what I have experienced myself, not enough of them are tailored to the specific needs of individual students. Yes, I know that is a favorite bit of copy included in virtually all advertisements put out by all colleges ("tailored to the individual student's needs") but in practice, nothing is tailored. Colleges of any size tend to subscribe to cookie cutter mentalities. They have declared, within their insulated sphere what an education is, and those who wish to stay on campus must conform to same. My college certainly did, and it was a disservice to me. I graduated, and did so with good grades, but only because it was the only game in town. That was the system. I bucked it a few times, and predictably only managed to piss off well ensconced and out of touch professors in the process. That "outside the box" thinking they were famous for was never to be applied to the college itself.
A truly personalized experience would allow any given student to form their own approach to what they want to do with their lives, and remain flexible as those goals change. Not free reign to be willy-nilly, but the freedom of a self exploratory education. With faculty that is focused on helping students find who and what they are, not digest the next exam's answers, promptly to be forgotten during spring break.
My college didn't make things personal in this manner, and I have realized, in the years since, that despite my dedication to my education, I didn't belong, and was not served by the standard educational model I just described.
That lack of a personal approach sort of dovetails into the final category. College failed to teach me how it really works.
Again, I wasn't naive, but I was caught off guard by how different jobs, job hunting, and leveraging my degree, (not to mention student loans and debt) worked after college, as opposed to how they appeared to work while there. Most colleges, not just mine, offer no training for what to do after college. There are no mandatory classes about networking, or job hunting, or debt control, or how to handle your loans. Being a business themselves, they avoid telling you how it really works, and instead let credit card companies harass you outside of the lunch line. (I didn't get one!) They have career centers that tell you what you already know, but nothing you WILL need to know. They laud heaps of praise on the importance of getting an education, and the prestige of getting it with them, but don't explain that such an advantage truly died off in the 1960's.
In other words, they are not preparing you for life. They are isolating you from it for four years. And while I knew that for the loftiest, prettiest claims this was true, I didn't realize it was true even for the most modest, every day, run of the mill claims, such as, "this will be useful to you when you get out there." It wasn't.
I could go on, but I really think the point is made. And I think that any other reasons I could think of pertaining to college's failure would basically fall within the four meta categories I laid out here; the weakness of a degree, a failure to make it personal, the lack of a built in network, and the failure to prepare students for any real life experiences.
Many people will suggest that really all it takes is the right attitude, and hard work to succeed, and that college is what you make of it. That may be true for some people at some colleges. And while I confess I may not have had the highest fire under my ass all the time in college, I will not succumb to the notion that the reason it did nothing for me was because I didn't want it enough. The fact of the matter is that college, as advertised and explained in this country today, is supposedly the place to go to become prepared to go out and do those things. It is the place where that fire is supposed to be set, not the place where you have to already be on fire from the get go in order to succeed on campus.
College isn't what it used to be. People like me need a place where we can be educated in ways that both suit us, and prepare us for what's ahead. We don't care about school spirit, the proximity to historical landmarks, or the famous people that went to this school before us. We care about learning. Learning in a way that will make it worth the time, money and energy in the end. Getting an education that will actually guide us towards success. Not education for the sake of having gone to college.
I don't know if any college really acts like that anymore, but that is what I needed, and did not get. And if nobody gets that from college anymore, the perception we have in this country of what college is should at least adapt to it's reality, so those who can be helped by it can go, and those who are Too XYZ can go elsewhere.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Frustrated Fellow Too XYZers (A Featured Post on Brazen Careerist!)
This is not an exceptionally creative post, but I came across a thread on a job hunting board that rang so true with me that I simply had to share it. Especially when I consider that no other thread that I have yet encountered in the world of the job hunt has been so universally in tune with my own experiences on the matter.
It is a frustrating, depressing, and some will say cynical thread. Many would probably dismiss it as belly aching. But these people are not worthless anymore than I am. They are worried, anxious, in some cases rendered hopeless, by a job hunting system that, no matter how many times it is written about, explain or engaged in, just simply doesn't make any damn sense to a certain personality.
Like my own. And to all of us who have found we are Too XYZ.
Read the thread. Each post. And don't dismiss the people as lazy or stupid. Those of you who never have any problem landing jobs, try to listen carefully to what these people who have been out of regular work for a year (or years, such as myself if you discount my freelance work) have to say about their predicament. This is what I and people like me have been up against. It is a perfect indication of just how unhelpful so much of the standard job hunting advice tends to be.
We don't know why. If this is you, perhaps you don't know why. But you are not alone.
Here is the thread. Perhaps add to it yourself?
It is a frustrating, depressing, and some will say cynical thread. Many would probably dismiss it as belly aching. But these people are not worthless anymore than I am. They are worried, anxious, in some cases rendered hopeless, by a job hunting system that, no matter how many times it is written about, explain or engaged in, just simply doesn't make any damn sense to a certain personality.
Like my own. And to all of us who have found we are Too XYZ.
Read the thread. Each post. And don't dismiss the people as lazy or stupid. Those of you who never have any problem landing jobs, try to listen carefully to what these people who have been out of regular work for a year (or years, such as myself if you discount my freelance work) have to say about their predicament. This is what I and people like me have been up against. It is a perfect indication of just how unhelpful so much of the standard job hunting advice tends to be.
We don't know why. If this is you, perhaps you don't know why. But you are not alone.
Here is the thread. Perhaps add to it yourself?
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Look Before You Melee
I am not a true gamer. I have a lot of fun with video games, but I am perfectly content to play on what most would consider ancient systems. (Genesis. N64. GameCube.) Even when those systems were new, I often bought games that the serious gamers never bothered with. Mario based games, or winter sports related things. My low level of gaming skill wouldn't allow me to enjoy, much less succeed in more hard core games.
Once in a while I'll play a first person shooter. (Set to the easiest level, of course, because I suck at such things.) Last night I actually beat such a game on my GameCube. A first person shooter that takes place in World War II. I think the historical nature of it compelled me to buy it last month at the used game store.More appealing than shooting aliens or zombies in warehouses.
It was frustrating at times, playing that thing, given my low skill level. But despite that it was addicting. Not just because of the realism, but because I managed to make slow but steady progress. Progress that made sense in the real world, as opposed to the usually confusing physics of other shoot-em ups.
In other words, I was learning from the things that didn't work, and applying new strategies to accomplish missions when I played again. I remembered a concept that I'd encountered in a other video games I have played; if you want to get anywhere you have to remember to play defensively sometimes.
My video game history, pathetic as it is, is filled with games I never conquered, or made myself crazy conquering, because I'd be too anxious to advance. I'd run into every room and start blasting to hell everything that moved. In a boxing game I would basically never hit the "block" or "dodge" button. I would just pound away at the opponents head as fast as I could until he was knocked out. Such a melee approach often would get me quite far rather fast for the first, say, third of a game. Then, not surprisingly, as things started to get more difficult on the higher levels, I'd hit a wall. My characters would die quickly, or get knocked out in one round. All because I wouldn't take the time to finesse things.
In this most recent game, that charging and blasting was not going to cut it, and I found that out fast. So I had to develop strategies. Sometimes I'd have to have the character wait, and duck behind something. Certain targets could not be reached unless I ignored other potential targets. Worst of all, a few missions required that I let myself get hit for a minute while things worked themselves out in my favor.
Same with the boxing. To win, I had to learn to actually do something other than punch. I had to block. Weave. Duck.
Over the years, I started to think that this approach may have been indicative of an attitude I have about other things. And it's true; I do have a tendency to want everything done, right now. To line everything up, work like hell, and then hope at the end I will have found success due to sheer cussedness.
I've learned that just like in some video games, that will only get you so far. To succeed in a career, in life, even in friendships, (especially in friendships?) one has to sometimes fall back. Assess. Go really slowly or even stand still for a while. Forgo one smaller benefit in order to get a crack at a much larger one. Once in a while, it even requires us to willingly take a hit, with knowledge that we will have enough power to get through to the end. In the last few years I have begin to take that approach more often, both on GameCube and in the real world.
Could this change in perception account for my somewhat increased success in these type of video games? Who can say? I can however be certain that is has contributed to an increased success in my life.
But watch out, because I am still unafraid to melee when needed...
Have you ever used a melee approach when finesse would have been more appropriate?
Once in a while I'll play a first person shooter. (Set to the easiest level, of course, because I suck at such things.) Last night I actually beat such a game on my GameCube. A first person shooter that takes place in World War II. I think the historical nature of it compelled me to buy it last month at the used game store.More appealing than shooting aliens or zombies in warehouses.
It was frustrating at times, playing that thing, given my low skill level. But despite that it was addicting. Not just because of the realism, but because I managed to make slow but steady progress. Progress that made sense in the real world, as opposed to the usually confusing physics of other shoot-em ups.
In other words, I was learning from the things that didn't work, and applying new strategies to accomplish missions when I played again. I remembered a concept that I'd encountered in a other video games I have played; if you want to get anywhere you have to remember to play defensively sometimes.
My video game history, pathetic as it is, is filled with games I never conquered, or made myself crazy conquering, because I'd be too anxious to advance. I'd run into every room and start blasting to hell everything that moved. In a boxing game I would basically never hit the "block" or "dodge" button. I would just pound away at the opponents head as fast as I could until he was knocked out. Such a melee approach often would get me quite far rather fast for the first, say, third of a game. Then, not surprisingly, as things started to get more difficult on the higher levels, I'd hit a wall. My characters would die quickly, or get knocked out in one round. All because I wouldn't take the time to finesse things.
In this most recent game, that charging and blasting was not going to cut it, and I found that out fast. So I had to develop strategies. Sometimes I'd have to have the character wait, and duck behind something. Certain targets could not be reached unless I ignored other potential targets. Worst of all, a few missions required that I let myself get hit for a minute while things worked themselves out in my favor.
Same with the boxing. To win, I had to learn to actually do something other than punch. I had to block. Weave. Duck.
Over the years, I started to think that this approach may have been indicative of an attitude I have about other things. And it's true; I do have a tendency to want everything done, right now. To line everything up, work like hell, and then hope at the end I will have found success due to sheer cussedness.
I've learned that just like in some video games, that will only get you so far. To succeed in a career, in life, even in friendships, (especially in friendships?) one has to sometimes fall back. Assess. Go really slowly or even stand still for a while. Forgo one smaller benefit in order to get a crack at a much larger one. Once in a while, it even requires us to willingly take a hit, with knowledge that we will have enough power to get through to the end. In the last few years I have begin to take that approach more often, both on GameCube and in the real world.
Could this change in perception account for my somewhat increased success in these type of video games? Who can say? I can however be certain that is has contributed to an increased success in my life.
But watch out, because I am still unafraid to melee when needed...
Have you ever used a melee approach when finesse would have been more appropriate?
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Potential Disaster of Living for Potential Employers
I randomly came across this interesting blog post.
I agree with the blogger. I think as time goes on we are sacrificing too much of our privacy. When a few clicks can solve the problem, why not do so?
I mentioned to this blogger in another forum that there are those who see the use of privacy settings to be problematic, because then employers will ask,
"What are they hiding?" So people I know keep their Facebooks totally open, and then delete my comments because "potential employers may look me up, and I don't want them to know about that."
This is just another example of why I think I have failed to embrace the traditional job search. (And failed to succeed at it.)
We are told that potential employers will judge us by our resume. But also the format of the resume. And the font. And we shouldn't use any other color paper but white because that is not professional.
Employers will get a first impression of us based on our clothes. (Assuming we get the interview, which I usually do not.) Don't wear colors that are too loud. Be conservative or the employer will be nervous about hiring you.
The same is true of you wear you favorite cologne or perfume. Do not wear it to your interview, because the hiring manager or his secretary may be offended by, or allergic to the fragrance. And unlike anywhere else in the world, during the interview process nobody is expected to deal with someones personal style. There would be no way to hire someone with perfume that makes you sneeze, and simply request politely that when they start work, they don't wear it, and explain the problem. Nobody gets hired if someone sneezes after all.
Answer questions during an interview, but ask your own. You don't want to seem like you haven't spent 4 months researching the company. But not too many questions or you will seem pushy, or the manager will think you appear smarter than he does, and we cannot have that. Chat it up with the first person who opens the door for you while you wait. The may be the gatekeeper. Or not.
Before getting to an interview stage, never have any kind of debt at ALL, because if you can't keep your student loans paid off quickly, or can't cover your credit card bill this month, how can you be expected to be a trustworthy employee? And of course, managers WILL check your credit before hiring you.
Never let yourself be tagged in Facebook pictures you wouldn't want you boss or potential boss to see. Monitor the comments people leave on your Facebook, in case your boss or future boss decide to look you up online and see what you are up to. And NOW........
"Don't use privacy settings because your boss or potential boss will wonder what you are HIDING?" Where does it end??
Being professional, polite and able to demonstrate your ability to do the job are one thing. But when did we suddenly feel the need in this world to censor every moment of our lives for the sake of an employer or potential employer? How did it come to pass that we have to eradicate any record of our so called sins, in order to be worth hiring, even at the local cafe? Sins that everyone commits...such as being in stupid pictures, going to parties, having a few too many once in a while, going into debt. Or simply not having a resume on paper that does our intellect and our experiences justice. (Like me.)
I have goofy pictures of myself on Facebook. I post notes to my friends about really weird stuff sometimes. I make wry or off color jokes to people I have known for half of my life. And I have all my settings on private. (One reason I do not use my Facebook to network with employers.) If that makes me unmarketable...well it can line up next to my "significant full time employment gap", my less than impressive "networking abilities", my lack of "demonstrable increased salary and responsibility" on my resume, and 40 other things that have kept me from landing a full time job EVER. But a line has to be drawn somewhere. I will not pretend to be something I am not for people that only MIGHT give me a job. I guess I am Too XYZ for that.
I don't know if the 3 people in that last 7 years that granted me an interview, (that's right, only three) bothered to look into my Facebook, my blog, my letters to the editor, my cologne choice, my shoe laces, and all sort of other things, but if that is why I have never gotten any of those jobs, I think I'd rather not have them.
They can make me learn more skills. (I have been trying to do that.) But they can't make me fake my way into a personality that is not my own.
I agree with the blogger. I think as time goes on we are sacrificing too much of our privacy. When a few clicks can solve the problem, why not do so?
I mentioned to this blogger in another forum that there are those who see the use of privacy settings to be problematic, because then employers will ask,
"What are they hiding?" So people I know keep their Facebooks totally open, and then delete my comments because "potential employers may look me up, and I don't want them to know about that."
This is just another example of why I think I have failed to embrace the traditional job search. (And failed to succeed at it.)
We are told that potential employers will judge us by our resume. But also the format of the resume. And the font. And we shouldn't use any other color paper but white because that is not professional.
Employers will get a first impression of us based on our clothes. (Assuming we get the interview, which I usually do not.) Don't wear colors that are too loud. Be conservative or the employer will be nervous about hiring you.
The same is true of you wear you favorite cologne or perfume. Do not wear it to your interview, because the hiring manager or his secretary may be offended by, or allergic to the fragrance. And unlike anywhere else in the world, during the interview process nobody is expected to deal with someones personal style. There would be no way to hire someone with perfume that makes you sneeze, and simply request politely that when they start work, they don't wear it, and explain the problem. Nobody gets hired if someone sneezes after all.
Answer questions during an interview, but ask your own. You don't want to seem like you haven't spent 4 months researching the company. But not too many questions or you will seem pushy, or the manager will think you appear smarter than he does, and we cannot have that. Chat it up with the first person who opens the door for you while you wait. The may be the gatekeeper. Or not.
Before getting to an interview stage, never have any kind of debt at ALL, because if you can't keep your student loans paid off quickly, or can't cover your credit card bill this month, how can you be expected to be a trustworthy employee? And of course, managers WILL check your credit before hiring you.
Never let yourself be tagged in Facebook pictures you wouldn't want you boss or potential boss to see. Monitor the comments people leave on your Facebook, in case your boss or future boss decide to look you up online and see what you are up to. And NOW........
"Don't use privacy settings because your boss or potential boss will wonder what you are HIDING?" Where does it end??
Being professional, polite and able to demonstrate your ability to do the job are one thing. But when did we suddenly feel the need in this world to censor every moment of our lives for the sake of an employer or potential employer? How did it come to pass that we have to eradicate any record of our so called sins, in order to be worth hiring, even at the local cafe? Sins that everyone commits...such as being in stupid pictures, going to parties, having a few too many once in a while, going into debt. Or simply not having a resume on paper that does our intellect and our experiences justice. (Like me.)
I have goofy pictures of myself on Facebook. I post notes to my friends about really weird stuff sometimes. I make wry or off color jokes to people I have known for half of my life. And I have all my settings on private. (One reason I do not use my Facebook to network with employers.) If that makes me unmarketable...well it can line up next to my "significant full time employment gap", my less than impressive "networking abilities", my lack of "demonstrable increased salary and responsibility" on my resume, and 40 other things that have kept me from landing a full time job EVER. But a line has to be drawn somewhere. I will not pretend to be something I am not for people that only MIGHT give me a job. I guess I am Too XYZ for that.
I don't know if the 3 people in that last 7 years that granted me an interview, (that's right, only three) bothered to look into my Facebook, my blog, my letters to the editor, my cologne choice, my shoe laces, and all sort of other things, but if that is why I have never gotten any of those jobs, I think I'd rather not have them.
They can make me learn more skills. (I have been trying to do that.) But they can't make me fake my way into a personality that is not my own.
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