Thursday, January 19, 2012

Too XYZ Classic: Sculpting Relationships

Back on March 16, 2011, I posted this somewhat lengthy but quite satisfying piece about how I think we can forge and strengthen our relationships with people. The advice within the post came about as I pondered the things I found most lacking in my own relationships that were also the things for which I most yearned. In a few cases these tips were, I admit, also the things I myself found most difficult.

I don't know how successful I have been in implementing all of these things. And I know that the state of my relationships since I wrote this is roughly the same, overall. Some of my relationships I have only recently concluded are actually never going to be any good for me. Others are just starting out, relationships that didn't even exist when I originally published this post. So perhaps it will be easier for me to follow my own advice with new relationships than it is in regards to old ones?

That isn't to say I have not followed any of my own advice already. And when I have it has been advantageous more often than not. I really have felt closer to certain people since putting a few of these things into practice here and there.

The one that tragically remains the least utilized among my friends is "always apologize." I literally have been hurt many times by certain people, and those people have never once thought to apologize. I have even been shut out, and told that the conversation is "over" when I attempt to equalize the bad feelings. The hurt over people who behave this way continues. But as I said, at least I am starting to see the true nature of some of my so called friends. Maybe, in part, due to my greater focus on the concepts mentioned in this piece.

Would you add any other actions or perceptions to my list?

1 comment:

J. Lea Lopez said...

"By clarifying we cheapen and dilute the experience both for ourselves and the person we love. And if we are eager to explain what kind of love, and what the implications of that love are, what we are actually doing is acting more out of fear than we are out of love." Just... wow. I've never looked at it like that, but it seems so right.

I really love the music and meal suggestions too. Actually, I love all of them haha. The one I personally struggle with most is accepting compliments. It's difficult for me, though I've been working on it.

Such a great post.