Who the Hell Am I?

Why should you listen to me? What credentials have I that will prove I am the guru you ought to follow to solve your problems and pull you out of the mud?

None. I have no credentials. I am not a psychiatrist, career coach, CEO, clergymen or famous. Which is one reason I wrote this blog. As a response to my sheer weariness of trying to survive, let alone succeed in a credentials oriented world.

“Prove it,” every one is always saying. “Prove you are qualified for this job. Prove you believe in God. Prove that you love me.”

I’m not about proving anything here. I’m just about sharing conclusions I have come to in my life as I examine my lack of progress in some key areas, along with my successes in other. I want to chronicle what I am and doing. Both because I am a writer, and because I feel my thoughts might just be of benefit to others in similar situations.

So who the hell am I? I’m a guy that is Too XYZ, and has spent much time and effort in getting around that when needed. My credentials are that I have no credentials. But if you are looking for something real as opposed to some half-assed official study sanctioned by a lot of people with credentials, you will get something out of this blog.

My name is Ty Unglebower. I live alone in Frederick County, Maryland. The fifth of six kids. My mother is a widow, my father having died when I was seven years old.

I only get along with about half of my family at this time.

I am college educated, with a B.A. in Political Science and a minor in the Theatre Arts, from Marietta College. (Ohio). That hard earned and expensive poly-sci degree never did a thing for me. Didn’t open a single door. I make no use of it in the slightest, and never have.

I work as a freelance writer at this time. It doesn’t pay enough. Not nearly enough. So I have to get help from family sometimes. That’s just the way it is when you cannot find a job working for a company. Freelance writing is just about the only consistent thing anyone has paid me to do. I rang a bell one Christmas, washed dishes for a summer, watered plants for another, and sold radio ad time for two weeks. Spent two seasons as a tour guide. None of it full time. That is what a degree, 1000 resumes (and counting) 8 years, 4 interviews and three offers (not counting my freelance writing gigs) have yielded me on the job front. Haven’t exactly made a single dent in my student loans either, as you can probably guess.

Sound hard to believe? Try living it.

Why is it so? Right now I’m working on the how to fix it more so than the why it has been that way. And I have grown weary trying to figure out the why over these years. But I imagine I will explore both that why and the “what now” in this blog.

Though I rarely get paid for it, I spend most of my free time stage acting. Whenever and wherever I can. And I’m good at it. It is a large part of my creative life. So large in fact, I keep a separate blog to talk about my experiences in theatre. You can find a link to that in the link section. I will be referring to it frequently.

I enjoy digital photography and will sometimes post my pictures here.

What is my philosophy for success overall? After reading the books, articles, blogs, and speeches on the subject, whether they be about careers, love, sex, or spirituality, I can say it’s important to cut one’s own path as best as one can. Even when one doesn’t know how to begin.

Too XYZ is one way in which I have begun to do this. The advice column way, or the conventional story book ending just doesn’t seem built for me. It may not be in your cards either. Yet maybe I can help you, and in turn be helped by you. Keep reading and find out.

The Launch

Welcome to Too XYZ.

This will be a place where I share my observations, situations and tribulations with the world at large, but especially with people who find themselves in my same predicament.

And what is that predicament?

The predicament of falling just outside of the circumstances of conventional success. The predicament of being well ahead of the game in some ways, but due to various occurrences, quite behind in others. An age and situation often ignored by advice columnists, success gurus and positive thinking adherents. The predicament where too many assumptions are made about one’s abilities and potential achievements, simply because one is an adult, or is intelligent, or healthy.

It is the predicament of having come, through many ordeals, to a keen and ever evolving self awareness, but having never really been given of a solid chance to make use of that knowledge in the outside world. The predicament of unrealized potential, and bad timing. Of being left to one’s own devices without assistance or guidance because one is “smart”, and “will figure it all out.” Of being without mentors or even equals because of it.

Ours is the predicament of wanting to change, to succeed, to evolve and to influence this world and society, but finding ourselves powerless and clueless as to how to do so. A predicament of just not connecting. In our careers, our social lives, our spiritual lives. Of wandering, with only a vague outdated road map, thin networks, and canned advice. That just doesn’t quite fit our condition. The predicament of following that advice anyway because we need to “do something.”

It’s a predicament of being too different too early in life, or too damaged, or too confused, or all of the above, to develop as one should have developed in order find conventional success in the world. Or even in order to take the advice of those who coach others in how to do so. A predicament of being too unique in too many ways so that even suggestions for “unique people” doesn’t quite stick to us much of the time. Like a sticky note with hair and dirt on the back.

The predicament of being stalled, or perhaps of never having started. The predicament of only just now getting around to the aspects of life for which most people your age have falsely concluded you are too old. The predicament of knowing that society’s definition of success is not the be all and end all, but not knowing how to carve your own definition to get what you want. What you need. What you deserve.

In short, the predicament of being too….something. Too what? An undefined value. A value I refer to in this blog as being “Too XYZ.”
Too XYZ to have a resume that sings. Too XYZ to network and schmooze your way into those connections and positions everyone likes to write about these days. Too XYZ to enjoy being alone all of the time, yet also Too XYZ to jump through the standard hoops of how to date, or make friends. Too XYZ to take part in the networking events that others claim are so crucial to getting ahead. Too XYZ to fit in, yet Too XYZ to conform.

But you and I are also Too XYZ to fail. You may not know how to prevent it, or what happened to you to make you Too XYZ, but you know that you are neither hopeless, nor simply able to pick up the latest self help best seller, think a few happy thoughts, and watch your life get fixed. You need something else. Something more. A different way of seeing what you are, what the world is, and a new style of success. One that isn’t set down in specific rules, but is fluid, human based, and adaptable to your circumstances. Maybe you just need to hear the stories of someone else who is Too XYZ. That is where I come in.

I’m Ty, and it seems I have always been Too XYZ. I will share my views, advice and reasons here. What I have learned, and am trying to learn. My hope is that it speaks enough to you to help you out. Or at least, makes you think.

Which is where all of this must start. With a thought.