tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637372924851105604.post9201787897755455499..comments2023-08-29T12:58:53.386-04:00Comments on Too XYZ (Archives): Sculpting RelationshipsTy Unglebowerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06836504600859993438noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637372924851105604.post-84008702421924826422011-03-24T02:33:36.655-04:002011-03-24T02:33:36.655-04:00Thank you, Up, for your kind comments.Thank you, Up, for your kind comments.Ty Unglebowerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06836504600859993438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637372924851105604.post-44915559933821799592011-03-23T20:21:38.496-04:002011-03-23T20:21:38.496-04:00Really appreciate this post. It is refreshing to ...Really appreciate this post. It is refreshing to have someone ruminate intelligently about the quality of our interactions as opposed to the 'wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am' approach which is so common now. Thank you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12237874727002148424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637372924851105604.post-2185039782004228072011-03-21T12:31:11.935-04:002011-03-21T12:31:11.935-04:00Thanks everyone for the comments, and I am glad yo...Thanks everyone for the comments, and I am glad you enjoyed the post. I have had a busy and mostly away from the computer sort of weekend, so I am just now getting around to responding to these comments.<br /><br />Scrollwork-- Good point about how often people tend to go over board on a social media platform when it comes to compliments and such. The gushing indeed does often seem to be oriented towards reciprocation. "I will pretend to adore what you are doing on your blog, so you will come and visit, and spread the world about mine."<br /><br />I tend to only compliment, or even comment on a post, when I feel moved in a particular way. I'd rather people hear less from me, but know what they hear is real, than hear a lot of half-assed things from me.<br /><br />Jen--That is very true, and as I read I realize that I do not in the post specifically mention that a person need not do ALL of these things. I think that each suggestion I make here, if taken seriously, can in it's own way lead to stronger relationships, even if we are unable to, as you said, master any of the other suggestions.<br /><br />I would also speculate however, that becoming good at one, and meeting with success because of it may eventually lead to a person being more comfortable with trying the other ideas. Do you think that is possible?<br /><br />Jamie-- Certainly, we should tell out own stories as well. Stories being the operative word for that suggestion. We musn't be ashamed to share our stories with other people. But many people are in fact afraid to open up about their own stories, and my thought was, if we are kind enough to invite people to tell us a story, we they will feel more at ease about doing so, and hence more gets shared. I myself am more likely to share is asked.Ty Unglebowerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06836504600859993438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637372924851105604.post-73494878531517175722011-03-21T12:09:07.377-04:002011-03-21T12:09:07.377-04:00First, I’m the QUEEN of naivete when it comes to r...First, I’m the QUEEN of naivete when it comes to relationships. Because I genuinely enjoy people, I build rapport very quickly and let people in even more quickly. This typically leads to a world of hurt. So I’ve learned; and the few true, deep relationships I have are based on everything you’ve described. I think your ideas are perfect – and just to add / comment on two in the beginning.<br />1. You said, “ask about stories”. I agree – but also “tell stories”. I remember in one of my social psych classes we learned that the more you open yourself up to someone, the more they will open up to you and it is a signal of trust when you start telling people about “real” stories.<br />2. I love what you say in reference to “love” and how not to dilute that. I’m a firm believer in “actions speak louder than words”, so instead of telling someone I love them; I try to be creative, thoughtful, and do things like send a random hand written card, flowers, a thoughtful quote, etc. to show my appreciation and love for them as a friend.<br />Fantastic post – I will save this and re-read.Jamie Nacht Farrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10041813444691639448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637372924851105604.post-56469713641782544952011-03-17T00:16:55.959-04:002011-03-17T00:16:55.959-04:00Relationships are complex, and I think some ppl ar...Relationships are complex, and I think some ppl are great at doing some of the points you made, but then might be terrible with the rest. I know myself I'm terrible at asking for help or allowing myself to be vulnerable and intimate with someone. Perhaps our "deficiencies" allow us to learn from our friends who might be better at it so we can forge stronger relationships with others.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10839343941759862883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637372924851105604.post-83073936306108068712011-03-16T16:32:30.996-04:002011-03-16T16:32:30.996-04:00So many resonant points you've thoughtfully co...So many resonant points you've thoughtfully composed, Ty. One I'd like to highlight is to give sincere, restrained compliments. Particularly in this social media lovefest, the gushy generic comments are almost disrespectful to a writer's time when you consider they merely want to draw attention to their own sites. In real life, I tend to withdraw from the geyser-type talkers, too.Scrollworkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09761198237613139398noreply@blogger.com